Santa Monica, CA – July 16, 2012 – Hey suits, listen up ’cause I’ve got some pretty sweet news to break. I, DEADPOOL, today announced that I’ve… (ahem…we’ve) …yes, right…WE’VE decided to make a kick-butt, butt-kicking new video game based on the awesome-ing-ist Super Hero ever known to man …(and woman, if you know what we’re sayin’) – starring yours truly, ME – DEADPOOL. I know, I know…I pee’d myself a little with excitement just now too (you call that ‘a little?’).
Some of you may know me as the Merc with a Mouth, (or the mercenary for hire) – what can I say; I have skills! (You know who else has skills?)High Moon Studios has skills, and I hired them to make my game, because they’re awesome, and so am I. But they’re not as awesome as I am, if that’s what you’ve heard. (Who’d you hear that from?) (Wait, listen…you smell something?)
Anywho, where was I? Oh yeah, ME, and my game DEADPOOL! With some cashola I ‘borrowed’ (ha!!! riiight…’borrowed’) from Activision Publishing, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Activision Blizzard, Inc. (blah blah) (Nasdaq: ATVI) (blah blah blah), and some of the big cheeses (mmmmm…cheeeeese) from Marvel Entertainment, my DEADPOOLgame will feature all of my favorite things – katanas (check), big guns (and not just these amazing arm muscles)(check), crazy poop-your-pants action (check), hot chicks (check), maybe some of my X-MEN™ friends (well, depending on what they’re wearing), burritos, bouncy houses and of course ME!!! (check)(check) And check!